No one ever expects to bury their mother at my age. Friday it was a reality for me and I wanted to give a glimpse into the life of my mother the way that I knew her.
My mom had a lot of great qualities but perhaps the best was her ability to light up a room with her smile and positive attitude. I think everyone here can agree on that. As a young child, I have some beautiful memories of the time we spent together. She had a way of making everything fun. I have memories of going to the zoo, road trips to the beach and weekends singing karaoke. If you’ve ever heard the song, “Rescue Me” by Aretha Franklin, you’ve only heard the 2nd best version of the song—quite frankly, my mom rocked it. On the ride to school in the mornings, we would sing as loud as we could to the radio and had to whisper the songs really low as we drove onto the school property as to not be embarrassed. Something I only recently realized I picked up from her and do with the girls I babysit to this day.
My mom was always really creative and thoughtful and organized a huge family photo with all of my cousins back in 1990—something that to this day 22 years later is still treasured by different relatives and a great reminder to us all of how fashion trends have changed. She had my cousins and I tape record Christmas Songs one year and give them as presents. She was always the person at my school and at work that organized the donations for families who were in need during Christmas time. She always volunteered at major DC races and made volunteering an integral part of my life. If you can’t give money, give your time.
When I was in high school, I used to have the usual teenage reaction to when people said “Oh you’re so much like your parents.” “You remind me of your mother”. As I’ve gotten older and especially today, I take that as the best compliment I could ever receive.
When my mom got sick in September 2010, I almost didn’t believe it. My mom never even got the flu. My mom was the type of person who was loyal to her job. I think the count of sick and leave days that she had accrued over almost 20 years of working with the hospital system was in the 200’s and that’s not an exaggeration.
Life changed from that point on. Slowly, aside from Ovarian Cancer, it was the other ailments that really made life difficult. We chose the saying on the prayer card for a reason. While a simple prayer or a poem might have also been appropriate, my mom didn’t let cancer take away her spirit. She was still the type of person who could make you laugh and forget about little things that bothered you. She still worried about my aunt and her aunt and other people that might’ve needed her help along the way. She never complained about anything that happened to her—she was a rock through it all.
A few people have mentioned to me that they didn’t think my mom deserved this and they were having trouble with God in understanding why my mom had to go through what she did and die such an untimely death. I can’t explain why this happened but I can tell you that my mom taught me so much during her lifetime and especially the last year or so. She is a symbol of strength and at the very least, a guardian angel for each of us. We owe it to her to keep a little memory of her alive in our everyday lives—whether it’s a song or a joke; a smile or a simple moment to just stop and listen to someone who needs you to—do what my mom would’ve done and do it proudly.
To borrow a quote that she used as her mantra over the years, “I’d rather have 30 minutes of wonderful, then a lifetime of nothing special.” Here’s to all the wonderful moments she shared with each of us.
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